In Spite of It All is one of five paintings in the Thought Patterns collection, a series of mirrored butterfly works in watercolor exploring the mental process of healing: examining the thoughts that compose a depression spiral, and reframing them with compassion.

Please Note: There are words in the borders of these paintings that are meant to evoke through a first person narrative the experience of struggling with depression, hopelessness, and suicidal ideation. The thought patterns in these pieces are pulled from journal entries of genuine depressive episodes. There are words of hope as well, but please be aware of the darker mood and content.

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“Something is irreparably wrong with me. I am not built for this.

My very existence is some sick, twisted fluke of nature.

Everyone would be better off without me.

My brain is too broken. The simplest things are impossible for me. I am so tired of putting my all into a life that keeps kicking my teeth in.

I want it to end.”

“These are feelings, not facts. You hold inherent value just by existing.

The fact you are still here in spite of it all shows you are stronger and more capable than you feel.

Everyday you keep living is a miracle, brought about by all the little impossibilities you didn’t give up on.

Keep going. Stay alive. You are not a fluke, you’re just human.”

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DETAILS

8 × 10 inches

Natural handmade watercolor on cotton paper

Signed and dated on the back